Heroes of the Now | Excerpt 1
I’ve missed you dear friend. We haven’t spoken in a long time and I am sorry. I had to go away for a while because I was hurt and confused. I lost my faith in the world that I created and woke up one day to my life in ruins. I thought I had it so together, was on top of the world and on my game, but I was wrong.
My life was spent trying to achieve something that was unreal and a product of my ego. I sold out. I gave up my sovereignty to the other side and allowed my actions to create discord in my life. Little did I know it at the time, but my actions were tainted, my friend. They were impure and unconscious, aimed at getting my way so as to protect the delicate balance needed to maintain the life I had created.
There was so much that I didn’t know back then. I was too wrapped up in the experience to take a moment to breathe, to see the truth. All the harm that came from my actions had taken much to heal. Yes, harm. I harmed others along the way, but ultimately I had been harming myself.
I hadn’t been listening to the truth beyond the chatter coming from my mind. Polluted it was, that chatter, and this pollution affected all of my undertakings. It hurt me, my friend, beyond any hurt I have ever experienced. It was so deep, to the core this pain went. Failure? Did I fail? Perhaps, but I focus not on this as I still have a chance to correct the choices and awaken to my True Nature.
Where is it? When I have reached out, the ground is shaky. How do I explain what I have seen? We shared a common experience not so long ago. We shared so much, our hopes and dreams, our greatest accomplishments, our failings, our judgments and criticisms, we were kings and queens in a kingdom of strife.
What did I really know, having only seen through the blinders of my creation? The view was murky, but in my position, I was well equipped to see what I needed to see so as to continue acting from a well of ignorance. I didn’t know any better back then. I chose my actions, using my free will to enact choices that were contrary to my highest and best good. I knew not my True Self, but rather identified with a perception that was a reflection of those around me.
I saw myself in the mirror of those that surrounded me. This was my view. What others saw in me was reflected back to me by their actions. You see, I didn’t have a solid foundation for my being to rest upon. I didn’t know whom I was, so I let everyone around me tell me how I should be in each situation. Sounds crazy, but it’s true. I didn’t have a connection to my core, to my truth from which to act from.
Growing up I always wanted to be liked and accepted, but I wasn’t. I tried to express myself from my True Nature, but that was met with resistance. I was different. I am different and rather than embrace that difference as something to learn about and grow, I shut down. I closed myself to that which I knew early in life and sold out to the energies of the dark, the collective that is entrenched in our society and dictates behavioral norms.
Even now, I have met both internal and external resistance in expressing my True Self, but I am stronger, more diligent. And I have seen the truth about my existence. But it remains difficult this adventure that I am on. And what an adventure it has turned out to be.
You may wonder, my dear friend, what possibly could have gotten into me? Why did I change? Well, it isn’t so much as changing, as it is embracing who I really am.
I am Spirit, the Divine, or God Consciousness. All these things, I have found in myself. I am creation itself, connected to the very source that the Universe sprang forth from. Therefore, I am imbued with the very likeness of these monikers. Sadly, I didn’t know what that meant, so long ago and even now, it is a daily practice to discern the truth presented in all the situations I find myself in. Before, I found a whirlwind at my core, untenable ground for my being to occupy, yet I did the best I could. I was very successful in a material way in that world, but my Soul cried out in anguish. I created so much pain and suffering for myself as a result of unconscious actions. I know better now, my friend. I know what my thoughts, deeds and actions create in the world now and I take responsibility for them. I am a Divine instrument and I act from the core of my being, from my heart sharing Love with others and myself.
When you knew me, I didn’t know myself. I didn’t love, respect or accept myself. My negative internal dialogue was stronger, more powerful, guided by thoughts welling from a deep and polluted sub-conscious. A lifetime of experiences rooted in harmfulness, distrust, and total disregard for the divine nature of my experience left me incapable to break out of the cycle, so I became a chameleon. I had no roots in my own nature so I was constantly adapting to my environment and changing my behavior to match the situation. I was firmly rooted in that reality and it was killing me very slowly and insidiously.
My lack of self-awareness and resultant structuring of my life experience created that person and I am not proud of it. That person was spiteful, hateful and filled with darkness. He was an unfortunate being, as he had so many possibilities, but he was wasting them on a non-productive path that was draining him of his life and vitality. He was focusing on achieving something that does not need to be achieved.
I am taking steps to change this dynamic. I have found myself and am encouraging this child to step into the light of the Love in my heart. I have learned to Love myself, nurture my passions, and strengthen my Soul.
I have accepted my mistakes and forgiven them. I am committed to this path of discovery. I take Total Personal Responsibility for my life. I align with my highest and best good and move from the center of my being with Love and Kindness.
I can’t live in that old world anymore. It doesn’t resonate any longer and when I connect to the old ways, they hurt. I can no longer relate to those experiences, as I now live in a miraculous world, where the infinite is possible. Where my thoughts, deeds and actions; my Consciousness creates reality.
I have come to find out just how diligent I must remain to maintain the balance, peace and harmony I have created in my life. It has not come easily, since we last spoke. However, it has come and I feel as though I have found a way that guides my choices. I am the key to unlocking the secrets to this life experience, to opening the doorways to the Soul and living a life that is filled with the blessings of the Universe. We all hold that key, my friend. It all comes down to each of us. We can make the difference needed in the world today.
Practitioners in the Now are creating a new earth reality very much different from the current state of affairs. They are doing this by stepping out of the tread that lays before them, the familiar path leading to undesirable outcomes and blazing a new trail to their hearts desires. I have experienced this reality as Truth. I have witnessed the Universe abide regardless of my intention and I now choose to create my reality consciously.
What an epiphany it was to understand this important truth. It changed me and now I am ever-present and mindful of what I create. If I have dark thoughts, I look at them and dig deeper. If something is happening that is unpleasant or making me uncomfortable, I ask why and set about to discover the source. I have chosen to purify the fountainhead, the source of my thoughts, deeds and action and in doing have healed my being in ways previously not possible. From my healing a new and beautiful world has begun to surround me. I have found that my old ways were detrimental in creating this experience, so I have renounced them. My life is more peaceful now and the journey continues.
Thank you, dear friend! I love you.
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